Week 4 of the NBA

            The sizzle scenario is a situation in life that carries anywhere from no pressure at all to an unbelievably, world is on my shoulders weight that in both instances or anywhere in between on the pressure-meter is paired with a terrifying level of nerves. There are minor sizzle scenarios like filling up gas at the gas station when every pump is taken except for one but that one pump would involve you reversing your car around and backing in, which almost always results in adding a new layer of paint onto the yellow post designed and placed there solely to ruin high school students’ front bumpers. Gas station. Low pressure. High stress. Maximum sizzle.

Other sizzle scenarios of the low pressure-high stress variety are the ATM machine attempting to withdraw money while a line always forms behind your car forcing you to panic and simply leave the machine empty handed or the dreaded self scan at Meijer attempting to locate the code for the bag of oranges as the screen continually reminds you to please place the items in the bagging area.

            But then there are the sizzle scenarios that pair high pressure with even higher stress. For example, kicking a game-winning field goal. Being a field goal kicker who is called in with seconds left on the clock is the worst position to be in throughout all of sports. Game winning free throw shot? No comparison; kicking a field goal is like taking the same free throw shot but having eleven 250 lb plus players charging at you. Kicking a field goal ranks on the sizzle scenario scale somewhere in between meeting a girlfriend’s parents and diffusing a bomb. Nobody remembers the guy who diffused the bomb. Name one famous bomb diffuser outside of Macgruber and that guy from Hurt Locker. If you’re called into diffuse a bomb, you’re expected to successfully diffuse the bomb, much like a kicker is expected to make the field goal no matter what windy, rainy, bad snap condition surrounds them. If you do your job and hit the field goal, the fans remember the quarterback who led the drive into position and the girls at the post-game party might recognize you as the kicker (if you’re still wearing the uniform) and ask you if you have the running back’s number. There is no glory in being a kicker, but there is a whole lot of sizzle.

            And there’s a whole lot of sizzle in being Erik Spoelstra, especially this week. Thursday night in Cleveland he is expected to beat the Cavaliers. If he wins that game, even by 30, big woop, you kicked the PAT through the uprights and people will forget about the game in a week. However, if he loses to Cleveland Thursday night after all the controversy and angry chest bumps from LeBron, Spoelstra will feel about as comfortable walking into Pat Riley’s office Friday morning as Boise State’s kicker did going into class on Monday. If Auburn or Oregon loses and Boise State fans have to suffer through watching TCU get a shot at the national championship while they have to play Michigan State in a, “hey you guys almost made it!” bowl, expect Delilah’s phone lines to be tied up for weeks with song requests of, “Everybody hurts” by R.E.M. and that theme song from Crash filling the airwaves while new, Steve Johnsonesque (Buffalo Bills receiver) tweets will be calling out God from Twitter accounts all across the state of Idaho. If the Miami Heat lose Thursday night, which I’m almost certain that they will (bold claim, I know, but Cleveland is going to pour everything they have at this 10-8 Miami Heat squad because this game means the season to them) I don’t see how Spoelstra will last. I don’t see how LeBron James, who is still looking good on the court but is starting to resemble a T.O or Allen Iverson figure off the court, could lose in Cleveland and not become bitter to his new teammates or his head coach.

            “I took all that shit for leaving Cleveland to be a part of this super team, lost all that money and I still lose to them?!?”

            Problem is, who is going to replace Spoelstra? I don’t think Chris Bosh realizes just how little “chilling” he will be able to do under Pat Riley, and I don’t think LeBron could handle a coach with that much discipline. Dwyane Wade is the only one of the three who knows what it’s like to play under Riley and has firmly spoken against Riley’s return to the bench. Riley would whip this team into title shape, but he would not put up with any of the, “I can’t be a role player” nonsense and “I’m playing too many minutes” complaints. Then do they expect Riley to coach into his seventies enduring 82 game seasons along with his rigorous 3 hr practices in between? There’s a reason Phil Jackson, who was born in the same year as Riley (1945) is calling it a career after this season. The coaching position is already a mess in Miami and I said from the very beginning I just can’t picture Eric Spoelstra winning rings.

10. Mo Williams Buzzer Beater

            It was good to see Mo Williams, who this summer said he almost retired when he found out LeBron was leaving Cleveland, have a great moment like this. Mo is leading the team in scoring at 16.2 ppg and is running a well distributed offense kind of like a poor man’s New Orleans Hornets. If you look at the Hornets stat line compared to Cleveland it looks something this:

Team A Starting five: 18.6 ppg, 16.5 ppg, 12.5 ppg, 10.9 ppg, 10.1 ppg

Team B Starting five: 16.2 ppg, 12.9 ppg, 12.5 ppg, 12.1 ppg, 10.5 ppg

            You determine which one is the current 5 seed out West and 8 seed out East? (Team B is Cleveland, Team A is New Orleans)

            Cleveland is currently 7-9. Their next two home games are against the Celtics and the Miami Heat, if they can somehow win both of these games, Dan Gilbert’s rants this summer will start to look less mad man and more prophesy. After Miami they go on the road for three games to play the lowly T’Wolves, Pistons, and 76ers. It’ll be interesting to see where this team ends after this five games whether it’s 12-9 or 7-14.

9. Watch for Boston Celtics to go on a run

            Here’s a look at the next chunk of Boston’s schedule:

@ Cleveland (winning as I am writing this), vs. Portland, vs. Chicago, @ New Jersey, vs Denver, @ Charlotte, @ Philadelphia, @ New York, vs. Atlanta, vs. Indiana, vs. Philadelphia

            The Celtics are currently on a three game winning streak, four if score holds with Cleveland, and have won 7 of their last 10. In their next 11 games I have listed above I see them maybe losing the game @ New York and take your pick of one other. That would put them at 9-2 through that stretch and improve their record to 21-6 overall. The Heat are going to grab headlines in the next couple weeks, the Spurs are going to continue to win out West, but watch for Boston to slowly sneak their way further and further apart from everyone else in the East.

8. Roy Hibbert?

            Before the season began I raved about how much I wanted Hibbert to emerge as a dominant center in this league. As of four weeks in, his stat line is 16.1 ppg, 9.1 rpg. In comparison to other centers in the league, he is third in both scoring and rebounding. This is the Hibbert the Pacers need and definitely the 24 points 12 rebs and 6 assists performance they got from him a few nights ago against the Lakers (sidenote notice that stats are often being produced at large numbers for big men against the Lakers. Yes, they are down Bynum and Theo Ratliff right now, but look for this problem to resurface later on. Especially against the Boston Celtics. Could you imagine a 25 and 12 game from Shaquille O’Neal in a game 7 of the NBA Finals. Food for thoughts). Collison is proving to be a great addition at point guard and with Hibbert playing like a top 5 center they can ride Granger’s 21.7 ppg to a 7 or 8 seed out in the East.

7. Just As Boston may quietly distance themselves in the next month, watch for the Portland Trailblazers to quietly disappear from contention…

            Here’s a look at Portland’s next chunk of games:

As I’m writing this they are losing @ Philadelphia, which is not a good start. From there it’s @ Chicago, @ Milwaukee, vs Oklahoma City, vs. Toronto, @ Los Angeles, vs Detroit, @ Oklahoma City, @ New Orleans, @ Memphis, vs. Denver, vs. Utah, vs. New Orleans.

I look at this list and I see home against Toronto they should win, home against Detroit should be a win, but the rest of those games they’re going in odds against them. Portland has lost three straight, four if the score stands with the 76ers, and 6 of their last 10. They are relying on big minutes from Aldridge’s questionable knee and if he goes down the Trailblazers will be revolving around LaMarcus Aldridge which puts them at the level of slightly above a Chris Bosh Raptors team. They drop to 8-9 tonight, I look at that list and say they win three of those games which will put them at 11-18 heading dangerously close to the New Year.

6. If The MVP Voting Ended Today I think You Have To Give It To…

            Derrick Rose.

            Inspired by the soon to be released Heisman nominations, here’s my list of five guys in the hunt for league MVP.

D-Rose, Rajon Rondo, Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Kevin Durant.

            Kobe and Pau votes cancel each other out, Durant isn’t scoring quite as much as last year and his team isn’t drastically better, which leaves it down to Rondo vs. Rose. Rondo is averaging an unheard of 14.2 assists right now but is only scoring 10.6 ppg paired with a respectable 4.8 rebounds. Rose however is dishing out 8.2 assists per game, pulling down 4.6 rebounds but is scoring a 2^nd in the league, not 2^nd in point guards but 2^nd in the entire league, 26.6 ppg. That’s only 0.7 away from last year’s scoring champion Kevin Durant. The Bulls need Rose to score and he is delivering. Look for his assists to jump 1-2 per game with Boozer’s arrival and I think without question Rose is the MVP of the league as of now.

5. New York Is Playing Very Well

            As I write this sentence, the Knicks are up 79-70 with a minute left in the third against the Nets. If they hang onto this game they will move to 10-9 but more impressively winners of 7 of their last 8. Now granted, the teams they’ve beaten on this sudden winning explosion are not amongst the league’s elite, but winning these types of games that you’re supposed to win is the first step to becoming respectable. 

            And it’s not just the fact that they’re winning games, it’s the way their roster is being built. Felton is absolutely thriving in the D’Antonio offense sitting here at week 4 with 18.1 ppg and 7.9 apg. Amar’e is producing 23.4 ppg and Gallinari/Chandler combine for 31.9 ppg. What this means is they really don’t have to find a way to bring in Chris Paul or panic and trade their pieces for Carmelo, if the Knicks can be patient (which they struggle with) their current roster will get into the playoffs and then they can go out and sign Melo to fit in perfectly into this mix. The pieces fit together very nicely with Felton running the point, Melo being the lead scorer at the small forward, Gallinari accepting a role player position as a big shooting guard, Amar’e at the power forward and well, they need to sign a better center (all I know of their current center is that he’s white and is on the wrong side of a Blake Griffin dunk of the year). The Knicks have the chance to, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, actually build a contender, but they need to keep this year’s roster and wait on Carmelo. He wants to be a Knick, the Knicks want him, there’s no need to rush.

4. Dallas Mavericks Are Heating Up

            The Mavericks are a legitimate team. Granted, this is usually how they look in the regular season, but the addition of size to their roster and the ridiculous depth they have at guards makes Dallas a legitimate threat out West. They have the same record now as the Los Angeles Lakers and are trailing the Spurs for first by a game. They’ve beaten San Antonio, Boston, New Orleans, Miami, and Oklahoma City so far and both Dirk and Jason Kidd are playing All-Star level basketball. Their 6 game winning streak is tied for the longest in the league and they’ve won 8 of their last 10. Watch out for the Mavericks to be atop of the league or right in the hunt by the end of this week.

3. The Pacers Are Winning Strange Games

            At Miami? At Los Angeles Lakers? Did anyone see these results coming? I feel like I got into why this team is doing well a little bit in the Hibbert section, but the Pacers might actually be a playoff level team. Hell, they almost went a whole quarter without missing a shot. They’re playing a defensive first mindset and are 8^th in the league in opponents points per game. They need more out of Brandon Rush and a more active power forward would be nice. The Pacers, the Knicks, and the Cleveland Cavaliers are all strangely in the playoffs right now if the season were to end tomorrow. Let that soak.

2. Heat Struggling

            Be careful not to kick this team too hard while they’re down. Yes, they fell to 9-8 at one point this week, and yes that makes most of us extremely happy, but I can see this team rallying behind that whole, “the world is out to get us” mantra and being the type of dangerous team you see in the NCAA tournament that peaks at the right time. Right now, the Miami Heat are not a “great team” they can only lose 1-2 more games to beat or tie the Bulls 72 game mark, they are not a “good team” but they are still a dangerous team. If I were to rank where they are right now it’d be as so:

1.    San Antonio Spurs
2.     Boston Celtics
3.      Los Angeles Lakers
4.      Dallas Mavericks
5.      Utah Jazz
6.      New Orleans Hornets
7.      Orlando Magic
8.      Chicago Bulls
9.      Oklahoma City Thunder
10.    Miami Heat

There is sick enjoyment in seeing this “super team” suffer and I think we will

get to see a historic upset Thursday night in Cleveland, but I’m not ready to stick a fork in this team. Even with all of their troubles with coaching controversies/chemistry issues/lack of inside presence/lack of point guard/lack of bench/lack of home fans/lack of D-Wade performing like D-Wade/lack of Chris Bosh actually being a super-star, they’re still a top 10 team in the league. Teams like the Magic and Hornets I feel have reached their potential, Miami has not, look for them to slowly creep past them. The Thunder has the same problem with lack of low post presence, expect the Heat to pass them too. But I think getting past the Bulls, Mavericks, Jazz, and Spurs will be incredibly difficult because those they are strong in the areas Miami is not (point guard and center/powerforward). Then finally, leapfrogging the Celtics and Lakers will be near impossible since they are both better at point and big man but also have matching superstars to negate the Bron-Wade effect. It’s really not that much of a time to panic in Miami, but I think it should be understood that this team has a long way to go to be among the NBA elite.

1.              1. Obama Elbowed In The Face

I didn’t hear about this headline until after some early morning Black Friday shopping. By the way, I think Dick’s Sporting Goods or Dunhams needs to be more involved in Black Friday and put some strange deals on the table that put customers in a really tough spot. For example, have a buy 1 kayak get the 2^nd kayak free. Suddenly bargain shoppers who have never kayaked before will look at the sign and be like, “Well, I guess I could always try it out. Are they both gonna fit on the Neon’s roof?”

Last year the big Thanksgiving headline was Tiger Wood’s injuries and the shady golf-driver sized hole in the rear window. The original story was car accident, but we all know that there was much more to the story. Could this be the case with Obama? I’m anxious to see the Inquirer and all the other near-the-candy-bars-at-Meijer newspapers have fun with this story. Personally, I think 12 stitches for an elbow to the lip seems a little high. I remember a buddy of mine and fellow basketball player from high school Matt Lane taking an elbow that sent his braces through his lip and I’m pretty sure he only had to get 5 or 6 (stat could be entirely inaccurate, Matt Lane comment with a fact check). Twelve stitches makes me raise an eyebrow as to whether or not the “elbow” from the “basketball game” ever actually happened. Do we find out that Michelle gave him a sucker punch to the mouth after discovering some Brett Favre styled pic messages in his outbox? Would an affair be good or bad for Obama’s presidency? Both Bill and Hillary received a boost in their popularity after the Monica incident. Have you seen the Obama girl? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKsoXHYICqU 

How could he not be at least tempted? Or maybe he only needed 2 or 3 stitches but since all medical concerns are covered and taken care of under the marvelous Obamacare he put in an extra 9 free stitches just to be safe.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, enjoy Thursday night’s game, even if the game turns out to be a zonk, the pre-game intros, boos, will LeBron throw the chalk, suspense of what is going to happen, will make this one of the most entertaining days of the year.  

Week 3 of the NBA

            On November 15, 2010, I turned on my white Apple Macbook, clicked on the uniquely Apple Safari internet browser, and immediately observed a change in the default Apple.com starting point (not sure why I haven’t switched it to Facebook yet since my internet travels generally consist of Facebook check, e-mail check, Facebook chat with Blair Turner, sign off, log on, new Facebook status, sign off).

Tomorrow is just another day. That you’ll never forget. Check back here tomorrow for an exciting announcement from Itunes.

            What could this be? I began typing my Google search of “Apple announcement” and the new, slightly, and by slightly I mean extremely frustrating, I-can-read-your-mind Google had my search results up and loaded by the time I entered “Ap.” The sad part is, I always feel like I need to prove Google wrong when they do this to me so I finished the search bar with, “Appalachian State Football schedule 1995-1996 season” and felt a sense of victory at the lack of relevant “hits” Google produced. But then of course, after a quick Facebook check, I typed in my original question and began to read through the potential answers and near hysteric speculation swarming about.

            I-phone is coming to Verizon. But wait why would they announce that on Itunes? Shouldn’t that be more of an Apple.com thing? Ok. Well, if it’s on Itunes it’s got to be something about music. Or maybe that’s just what they want us to think. Maybe it’s not on Itunes at all and this was all just a distraction. Maybe they’re putting a monthly rate on music and you can download as many songs as you want. Maybe they’re making their downloads free altogether to sell more Ipods? What if Harry Potter 7, part 1, is being released on Itunes rather than in theaters? What if the Ipad is being re-released with a keyboard under the name “Macbook?” What should I do? Should I admit that I’ve made mistakes? What would be so historic of an event that I would never forget the day that said event took place?

            Next morning, loaded up the Apple.com page and saw the black and white photo of four shaggy guys underneath the text, “The Beatles. Now on Itunes.” By the way, my nightmare scenario is that I’m on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and this picture flashes on the screen:

http://www.apple.com/

with the question of, “Name the Beatle on the left.” Obviously, I start out by seeing John Lennon and Paul McCartney in the middle then have to determine which one is George Harrison and then finally, by process of elimination, figure out the last one must be Ringo Starr (Ringo’s secretly underrated, give Octopus’s Garden a listen and appreciate the drummer’s strange composition). I would have already used the “ask the audience” option on some early gimme question and would be left with the usually useless “50/50” and the prized “phone a friend.” I’d go for the “50/50” and sigh at the expected result of B) John Lennon and C) Paul McCartney being erased from the screen. Then Meredith Viera, who I’m convinced is the same person as Katie Couric (I’m also assuming she still hosts a show that might be three or four years removed from the air) would ask me if I wanted to use the “phone-a-friend” or if the “50/50” had at all narrowed it down. How do you make that phone call in 30 seconds?

“Hey so you know the Beatle with the long dark hair that um, well he doesn’t look like Jon Lennon, but he uh, he’s not Paul McCartney either, which one is that again?”

Now first off, and this is free of any sarcasm, I do think that the Beatles coming to Itunes is a really big deal. They’re probably the greatest or at least most successful band of all time and they’re one of the few big names out there that can not be found on Itunes (Kid Rock is surprisingly still holding “Bawitiba” and “Cowboy” ransom from Steve Jobbs while Bob Seger and AC/DC refuse to sell their classics to the masses for $1.29). However, this is not, “Day you will never forget” type of big deal. It’d be like the New York Knicks during this free agency summer putting up the same “tomorrow’s just another day…” message on their website only to announce 24 hours later that they signed Amar`e Stouddemire.  Yes, Amar`e’s one of the great power forwards in the game, but he’s not LeBron James, he’s not Dwyane Wade, and he’s not free Itunes music for the holiday season with purchase of reasonably priced Ipod shuffle.

The problem with this move of the Beatles to Itunes is something I alluded to earlier in my Toronto Raptors preview:

However, if too many fans grow to appreciate these two players’ artistic, European, baloncesto resulting in Calderon and Bargnani jerseys flooding the North American streets, suddenly they will become like the Beatles where the true fans distinguish themselves from the bandwagoners by blasting “Across the Universe” or “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” on their vinyl record players drowning their dorm-room neighbors blaring, “She Loves You Ya Ya Ya” on a knock off version of an I-Home.

This move to Itunes created another layer in the Beatles hierarchical system, a longer gap between the Beatles Elitists and the bottom feeding, “I just saw Across the Universe on DVD and went home and immediately downloaded the soundtrack” grouping. Here’s how the totem pole looks.

At the top, a “Level One” Beatles fan: The Beatles Elitist. He/she is around 16-24 years old and owns every single Beatles vinyl record even if they might not actually possess a vinyl record player. They don’t have a poster of John Lennon hanging in their dorm/apartment because that would be too mainstream. Instead, they’ve got a picture of Ringo Starr playing the drums or an obscure picture of George Harrison smoking pot in a yellow submarine that they got seemingly as a steal on Ebay for 45 dollars when in actuality the picture was done in Photoshop by a Level Three Beatles fan (more on this later). They’re favorite Beatles song was “Across The Universe” until the motion picture came out and they had to switch to “Rocky Racoon.”

Level Two Beatles Fan: Some would call this the Actual Beatles Fan. Age anywhere from 45 to 65. Grew up when the Beatles became huge in America. Bought their records and as they got older either updated their collection to CD format or held onto the vintage vinyl sound. The really successful Level Twos transfer their CD collections onto their new Ipads and Iphones but always wondered why Itunes didn’t carry Beatles music as they proceed to download the new Bruce Springstein collection. Favorite Beatles song is either “Eleanor Rigby” or “Hey Jude.”

Level Three Beatles Fan: The Technologically savvy, 18-30 year old who previously didn’t have access to Beatles music on his/her Itunes store. In the past, they loaded up their Beatles #1 hits CD and maybe the Let It Be: Naked, but longed for the day that Steve Jobbs would place the entire box set in the store for a humble $149.99 price. With full fluency in Photoshop, this fan began work on the morning of November 16, 2010 creating their own CD art to stomp onto their burned disks to place around their house as if they had always owned the entire collection. To fund their Itunes purchases, Level Threes continued to sell Photoshopped copies of Beatles smoking pot in obscure places to Level Ones across the country and give Apple technologic demonstrations to new Level Two owners. Favorite Beatles song is, “Eight Days A Week.”

Level Four Beatles Fan: The bottom of the barrel, 16-17 year old who has every Beatles song ever made downloaded onto their computer from some version of Limewire free music outlet. The background on their computer is a picture of John Lennon and they publically order green tea in an environmentally friendly cup whenever they go to the coffee shop. They pretend to like obscure British movies and scoff at anyone who quotes Will Ferrel movies, trying extra hard not to laugh the first time they saw Anchorman. This grouping doesn’t believe in Apple, they don’t believe in Google, and prefer to listen to their music on a knock off version of an Ihome. When Apple made the announcement that the Beatles were coming to Itunes, suddenly the Beatles were no longer visionary artists but sell-outs and most Level Fours abandoned ship or at least distinguished themselves as Beatles fans before the Beatles sold out (even though only two Beatles are still living today and all four of the Beatles became famous 30 years before the Level Fours were even a thought in their parents minds). The Level Fours favorite song is “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” and will be glad to tell anyone in their presence how the song is really about LSD even though they don’t know what LSD stands for or could distinguish it from a bag of weed. Level Fours are in constant battle with Level Ones trying to follow their lead on which Beatles music makes you look like a Level Two, Three, or Five mainstreamer and what makes you look like a true Beatles fan.

Level Five Beatles Fan: Age 13-50 years old. Hears Beatles song on radio, thinks its good, buys song later on Itunes.

The Beatles coming to Itunes does not help people become Beatles fans, it makes it even harder to become one. The conflict is the same as the Harry Potter fans who have read all the books three times a piece and the Harry Potter fans who have only seen the films. At the end of Harry Potter Seven, well I guess the end of part 1 of Harry Potter Seven it should have been no surprise that (and I guess I’ll put SPOILER ALERT HERE: STOP READING REST OF PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE MOVIE) that Dobbey dies. P.s. why was Hedwig’s death earlier in the movie completely overlooked? That owl was a top 5 most loyal character to Harry Potter over the years and his death doesn’t even get a single tear. But anyways, in honor of Britain with their old school cultural phenomenon Beatles and new school craze Harry Potter both making tons of money, and in honor of British ballplayers like Luol Deng and Ben Gorden, I present Week 3 of the NBA:

10. Kevin Love’s Rollercoaster Week

            Week 2 I raised the question: Is Kevin Love secretly good? I received a resounding answer of yes when he put up a 31 point 31 rebound performance against the New York Knicks. Then he got the chance to play the Lakers again, in Minnesota, a team who he put up 23 points 24 rebounds against in week 2. I thought for sure another dominant Kevin Love performance was on its way. The result was this:

0 points. 7 rebounds.

            Was he in foul trouble? Nope. 0 personal fouls, 34:07 minutes on the floor. Was this a setback for Kevin Love? I don’t think so. Now, I’m guessing here because this game was nowhere to be seen on TV, but if the Lakers made it their gameplan to make sure to shutdown Kevin Love and allow Darko to go off for 23 pts and 16 rebs then Kevin Love is on his way up the ladder of big men in the NBA. The next step is being able to play through the opponent trying to shut you down and still put up numbers.

9. Oklahoma City Thunder Getting In Rhythm

            Two games on the road, at Boston, at Milwaukee, without Kevin Durant. Who would have thought the Thunder would go 2-0 in this stretch? I think this is where things like Durant’s inclusion of Thabo and Kristic on Sports Illustrated and the management in Oklahoma remaining dedicated to this team begin to shine through. The Thunder needed these wins because now their players believe in themselves and not just in Kevin Durant. Likewise, Durant knows, much like Kobe does now, that he can trust his teammates to win games down the stretch too and be able to create as well as hit game winning shots. After starting out 3-3, the Thunder are now 9-4 and atop of their Division, a fourth seed out West if the playoffs began today.

8. New Orleans Continues To Roll, Smart Trade Too

            New Orleans is proving that they are for real. They’re 11-1 and currently fighting with San Antonio for the 1 seed out West. I also like what they did with their most recent trade that included no one of real high name/value, but they shipped off the unproductive, massive contract of Peja for a backup, reliable point guard in Jarrett Jack and decent bench guys Center David Andersen and guard Marcus Banks. This will allow Chris Paul to lower the amount of minutes he has to play so that he can be more effective and healthy down the stretch of the season. Jack is perfectly capable of running the offense and this also shows the Hornets aren’t simply satisfied at being 11-1 they want to prove to Chris Paul why he should stay with them. Hornets season is looking bright.

7. You will not want to play the Chicago Bulls in the Playoffs

            This team is starting to look like the top four out East type of team I knew they could be. Here’s a look at their last 7 games:

            Overtime loss at Boston. A thirty point win over Golden State. Wins over Denver, Washington, Houston, and Dallas Mavericks. Close loss in San Antonio.

            At 7-4 on the season with their losses coming to teams whose combined record is 35-17 (29-11 if you throw out the New York Knicks loss) the Bulls are legitimately toward the top of the league right now even without Carlos Boozer. When Boozer returns and meshes with their top 4 level point guard and their top 3 level center, this team will give whoever they play in the Eastern playoffs a fight. We’ll see how they do this week at Los Angeles to play the Lakers.

6. Spurs Might Be The Best Team In The League Right Now

            Say the NBA had rankings like the BCS. The season would have started with the Los Angeles Lakers at number 1, Miami at number 2, and Boston Celtics at number 3. The big matchup between Miami and Boston would have been hyped up just like it was and Boston would have leap frogged to number 2, maybe number 1 until the surprising upset loss the following week against Cleveland. Los Angeles would be that perennial power holding onto the number one spot until they lost and the New Orleans Hornets being kind of the TCU/Boise State “is this team legit?” flirted around with the number 1 overall since everyone else kept losing. When the Hornets lost to Dallas then swoops in San Antonio who lost early in the season to the highly ranked Hornets so people forgot about the loss and only see their 10 game winning streak. San Antonio at 11-1 right now is the best team in the NBA. But unlike college football, there’s a playoff at the end which is an error proof system, the downside is the regular season isn’t nearly as entertaining/suspenseful as College Football.

5. Poor Blake Griffin

            44 points and 15 rebounds wasn’t enough. Griffin is for real, but his team is still for real the Clippers. At 1-13 currently on a 9 game skid they may be, not mathematically, but realistically eliminated from the playoffs by New Years Eve. This all ties back to my contraction theory, chop off 5-10 bottom dweller franchises and guys like Griffin could be added onto legitimate teams and make the NBA product that much better.

4. Miami Heat’s Pace to 72 Wins

            Miami is 8-5. They are currently on pace to finish with 50 wins. To beat the Bulls and fulfill Jeff Van Gundy’s prophecy they will have to win 65 of their next 69 games.

            Chris Bosh finally is scoring but let me show you the stat to why Bosh is not going to be an effective post player and why the Heat will struggle against teams that have them.

Chris Bosh is 43^rd in the league in rebounding with 6.9 per game. Rudy Gay, a shooting guard/small forward gets 7.4. Miami’s leading rebounder, Udonis Haslem, who just went down with an injury gets around 8.2. Erik Spoelstra wants them to get in and practice harder, maybe learn how to “box out” but since he’s not Pat Riley, the Miami Heat players, as Chris Bosh pointed out in his post game interview, “just want to chill.” This “chill” attitude is the reason post oriented teams like Boston, Utah, and Memphis have beaten them and why they are on pace to be a 2 or 3 possibly 4 seed rather than home court throughout the playoffs.

3. Celtics Losing Weird Games Will Cost Them

            The Celtics have beaten the Miami Heat two times. However, their record of 9-4 is only a game better than the Heat’s. Losing games to Cleveland, Toronto, Oklahoma City without Durant are going to come back and bite them when they could’ve been 12-1 right now, #1 seed of the entire NBA getting that game 7 at home instead of in Los Angeles. They’ve proven themselves against the good teams, they’ve beaten the Heat twice, the Thunder with Durant once, the Bulls, the Bucks, and a 2 point loss to the Dallas Mavericks. The veterans on this team rise to the challenge of big games but the lack of a deep youthful bench keeps them from having overall home court advantage and could come back to bite them like it did last year with a brutal run through the playoffs as a 4 seed. In their next 14 games leading up to their trip to Orlando there is no reason they shouldn’t win them all or at least post a 12-2 mark. Going 10-4 or 9-5 through this will mean they are on their to a tough road in the playoffs.

2. Portland Trailblazers

            Unlucky franchise. They didn’t draft Jordan. They didn’t draft Durant. Oden will be in a different uniform, if he is in uniform next season and Roy might be injury prone too. Tough stretch for a team that could’ve been contenders.

1.     I called the Tony Parker/Eva Longoria split!

If you recall, I wrote this in the San Antonio preview article:

  Tony Parker is married to Eva Longoria. Eva Longoria is not a small market wife. Parker becomes a free agent after this season and I feel like somewhere on a post-it note in their master bedroom is a list of teams she has hand picked for him to play for. 

Dear Tony, 

I've compiled a list of teams you can play for next season: 

1. L.A. Lakers or even L.A. Clippers- Just get me to L.A. and get me more face time than Jack Nicholson. 

2. New York City- Eh, not as warm as L.A. but 42 home games... 42 new outfits purchased. 

3. Miami- South Beach. 

So help me if you sign with Oklahoma City, Milwaukee, or Indiana I won't have sex with you for three years and will replace you with that gardener guy from Desperate Housewives from the when people still cared about my show season.

With Love,

Eva

And then this in the Week 2 of the NBA:

I was very surprised to read that Tony Parker signed on for four more years in San Antonio. I feel like this means Eva Longoria is going to leave him soon. The move makes sense from a basketball stand point I’m just surprised Eva didn’t convince him to go out to New York.

This past week Eva Longoria announced the two were ending their marriage! You better believe I’m keeping track of the stats of married Tony Parker vs. divorced Tony Parker along with Eva’s career in the post Tony era. Here’s how they’re doing in the post break-up era:

Tony Parker: 3-0. Led team in scoring each night with 21, 24, 19 points and also led team in assists each night with around 9 a performance.

Eva Longoria: Desperate Housewives?

Top 5 in the NBA as of Week 3

1.     San Antonio Spurs

2.     Los Angeles Lakers

3.     Boston Celtics

4.     New Orleans Hornets

5.     Oklahoma City Thunder

Week 2 of the NBA

 November 9, 2010 may have been the most historic November 9 in the history of November 9s. The other nominees? November 9, 1799 Napolean became dictator of France. November 9, 2004 Halo 2 was released in what may have been the most hyped video game premiere ever, resulting in millions of middle school students nationwide pretending to be sick on November 10 and Playstation 2 owners, like myself, clinging to titles like Jak 2 and Ratchet & Clank pretending not to be phased by the entire school's subscription to XBOX Live. November 9, 1971 pro golfer David Duvall was born. 

    But none of these historic November 9s compare to the night that was November 9, 2010 in the NBA. Heat vs Jazz. Pacers historic third quarter against the Nuggets. Kevin Love's strangely dominant performance against the Lakers. There was enough in these three games for an entire week and we got it all in one night. Teams are starting to separate into the categories of elite, good, and just plain bad, and I've loved every second of it. Here's my top 10 of the week. 

     Quick sidenote: I think the way to judge how successful a league is doing is by how many tweaks they make to their all-star game. Struggling sports like baseball and hockey are all about adjusting their all-star game, baseball making the winning league get home field advantage and hockey adding a new tweak where team captains will pick their squads. NBA? No tweaks. NFL? All-star game is thrown in at the end of the season as kind of one final hit for the upcoming football withdraws. Adjusting your all-star game to get fans is like working out your triceps to get women, if you haven't won them over yet, a ripped set of triceps is not gonna change the entire game. 

10. NBA Commercials

   The best commercials on TV right now are the All-State Mayhem line, the Chase Credit Card campaign (strange alliteration), and anything related to the NBA. Here's my sublist of the top 5 NBA commercials out there: 

     5. The Brandon Jennings, overly intense, is-that-the-Inception-one-deep-baseline-soundtrack-in-the-background, Under Armor Shoes commercial. 

     4. LeBron James "What Should I do" commercial. I think it was a given that this would be spoofed countless times (South Park's version is hilarious, the Cleveland one less funny but still good) but I think the commercial is really well done. A minute thirty gets a little old on view number three and above, but the first two times I was thoroughly entertained. Also, I'd like to point out how close I was five months ago with my opening line of "LeBron James: A Burning Love" 

“What do I have to do to make you happy?!” LeBron yelled as he stormed out of the bedroom. 

   If only I had put the "should" in there I could be collecting checks from Nike right now :( 

    3. Dwayne Wade-Batman-esque commercial. Wade and Dwight Howard are the best acting talents in the NBA and seeing Wade play this type of superhero made me wonder why not cast D-Wade as the Flash for the 2013 Marvel movie and see what happens? Also the Michael Caine/Morgan Freeman character in the commercial is played by Kevin Hart who no matter what he plays in the future, I will always remember him as that funny angry black guy from 40 year old Virgin: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_DrLRJ_5dc

     2. Slim Chin Adidas commercials. These are the most ridiculous ads I've ever seen. The concept is hilarious, bring in Hangover's Ken Jeong to make a complete dumbass of himself and pair him alongside D-Rose or Dwight Howard who literally just stands there and suddenly the NBA players look 100x cooler than you already thought they were. Ken Jeong is becoming the Asian Steve Urkel and I can imagine every time these commercials air, every Asian male across the country simply cringes at the sight of Slim Chin on top of his, "Lady Pyramid!" 

     1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyjJ5BtbRvM. Brilliant. 

9. Yao Ming 

   This situation is becoming a disaster. He is now out for at least a week with an ankle sprain, the 24 minute limited playtime is proving to be a mess to manage, and the Rockets who after nearly stealing game 1 of the season against L.A. looked like they should be a 5-2 or at least 4-3 type of team right now are instead staring at a 1-6 record with their next four games @ Indiana, @ New York, vs Chicago, and @ OKC. I see them being no better than 2-9 after that stretch. My prediction of the Rockets as a playoff team is looking less and less accurate, which honestly really surprises me since Scola is playing great, Battier-Brooks-Martin should have been a good enough core of guards, and Brad Miller is a solid backup center. With the surprise of New Orleans, the solid play of both San Antonio and Dallas (more on that later), and Memphis, I really don't see how Houston finishes anything other than last in their division. 

8. Paul Millsap and the Utah Jazz

    Where the hell did Millsap's November 9th performance come from? 46 points, 9 rebs, 11 of those points in the last 27 seconds when he stepped out and drained three 3 point shots. This was the best performance of the year so far and this week no one was more impressive than the Utah Jazz. After an 0-2 start, the Jazz have won 5 of their last 6 including wins at Miami, at Orlando, at Oklahoma City, three wins on the home floors of my rankings #3, #4, and #5 teams. The Jazz look to be powers out West because of Millsap's emergence, Al Jefferson filling in nicely for the Boozer gap, and Derron Williams continuing to be Derron Williams. In Raja Bell they finally have a guy who can annoy and somewhat slow down Kobe Bryant and I'll be very interested to see how Lakers vs Jazz games play out this season. 

7. Is Kevin Love Secretly Good?

   I don't think enough was made of Kevin Love putting up 23 pts, 24 rebounds, and 5 assists against the two time defending champion Los Angeles Lakers. His stats on the year are 16.6 ppg 12.8 rpg, 2nd in the league in rebounds. The kicker is that he's getting around 28/29 minutes a night. There's no reason that the 21 year old Kevin Love shouldn't be playing 35 minutes a night, which adjusting his stats would put him at about 20 and 15. He showed his ability to score and rebound in bunches when he played in the FIBA tournament and I think he may be securing a spot on the 2012 Olympic team. 

6. Indiana Pacers 3rd Quarter

   20 for 21 shooting. Josh McRoberts ruined everything at the very end. The Pacers look good and I'm going to make the bold prediction that they will win their next 4 games putting them at 7-3 and at the top of the central division. For a few days. Then their schedule gets a whole lot tougher and by game 16 they'll be back down to .500 level 8-8. 

5. Michael Beasely

   Minnesota is proving to be a good fit for him. He is moving to more of a small forward role and is posting up several Top 10 ESPN dunks so far this year. At around 19 and 9 he's first on his team in scoring (doesn't say a lot since its the T'Wolves but still) and second in rebounding. Food for thought, was Bosh really that much of an upgrade from Beasely?

4. Dallas Mavericks and San Antonio Spurs are Legitimate Threats

   I hate to buy into anything the Mavs do in the regular season or believe that the Spurs still have any form of life in their 30 year old tanks, but their performances thus far in 2010 make me believe they are more so the #2 and #3 teams out west than the younger Thunder and Trailblazers. The Mavs beat the Celtics earlier this week and the Paul Millsap performance, especially the last 27 seconds, made me curious to what Dirk will be able to do when he plays Miami. Do you put Bosh on him? LeBron on Dirk? Then who does Bosh guard, Shawn Marion? I think the Mavs will be a matchup problem for the Heat along with plenty other teams this season. 

   As for the Spurs, they're 6-1. They have the third best record in all the NBA. Here's a comparison between the San Antonio Big 4 and Boston's Big 4: 

Parker: 16.7 ppg, 8.4 apg, 3.1 rpg, 2.6 steals

Rondo: 10.8 ppg, 14.9 apg, 5.2 rpg, 3.0 steals

Manu: 21.9 ppg, 4.9 apg, 3.1 rpg

Ray Allen: 19.2 ppg, 2.1 apg, 3.6 rpg

Richard Jefferson: 18.6 ppg, 3.7 rpg

Paul Pierce: 20.2 ppg, 5.7 rpg

Tim Duncan: 15.4 ppg, 10.0 rpg

Kevin Garnett: 15.1 ppg, 10.6 rpg

   As you can see the stat lines are extremely close. Both teams have a good spark off the bench at PG/SG (Boston Nate Robinson and soon Delonte West, Spurs George Hill and James Anderson) and are loaded at the big men (Boston: Shaq, Perkins, Jermaine, Big Baby, Semih Erden, San Antonio: Dejaun Blair, McDyess, Tiago Splitter). I think ultimately the race for the Southwest Division will be between these two teams with the Hornets trailing shortly behind. 

3. Hornets Are the Remaining Unbeaten Team

    Chris Paul is worth 30 wins according to the Superstar formula. Last year New Orleans won 37 games and Chris Paul was only healthy for 45 of them. Back to the math formula: 

    Chris Paul is responsible for 30 wins of an 82 game season. 2009-2010 he played 45. 30 over 82 is a fraction of 15 over 41 aka .365. X (Paul's Superstar responsible wins 2009-2010) over 45 (games played) = .365. 

(45)(.365)= 16.425 aka X

Therefore, the Hornets without Chris Paul were good for 21 wins (37-16). Now that he's healthy, I think the Hornets will win 51 games (30+21). The 6-0 start is impressive, they’ve beaten the Spurs and Heat, but I see no way that they get to 9-0 by beating the Mavs twice and Trailblazers once. The Hornets are legit, but I'm not sold with them being more than a 4 or 5 seed. Just yet. 

2. Celtics Beat Heat. Again.

   As of week 2 of the season, the Celtics are much better than the Miami Heat. LeBron has had two monster games against them, but DWade has struggled and Bosh has been well, the decent Chris Bosh. This was not a good week for the Heat. The Hornets exposed their lack of point guard issues, the Jazz exposed their lack of  interior, and the Celtics exposed them at nearly every position. Paul Pierce tweeted after the game: 

"It's been a pleasure to take my talents to South Beach. Now on to Memphis." 

   The Heat don't intimidate the Celtics at all and Boston is getting in every shot they can while the Heat are still developing. Eventually these words could come back to bite them, but for now Boston is the far superior team. 

1. Spoelstra

   I don't picture Spoelstra winnings rings. I can picture Wade winning, I can picture LeBron winning, but I can not picture Spoelstra rattling off back to back rings let alone the seven that LeBron promised. Watching Pat Riley during the game pulling out that mysterious sheet of paper and angrily writing notes (I picture the sheet being covered with just repeated "Serenity now! Serenity Now" 1000 times), hearing LeBron rave about Jerry Sloan and complain about Spoelstra's choice of minutes for him and Wade, the 5-4 start, the media panic, somethings gotta give. I won't even go Google spell check Spoelstra, if I misspelled it will anyone even notice? 

   Save the date, December 2nd 2010 when the Heat travel to Cleveland. If the Heat go into that game still at about .600 (which most likely they won't, their next 6 games are cakewalks) and lose to the Cavaliers (which I think they will) all hell will break loose. LeBron and Wade will have behind closed doors meetings with Riley, Spoelstra will lose the respect of his team, and eventually I think the King will demand a hall of fame coach take over. 

   The top 5 teams in the NBA as of now, end of week 2, are as follows: 

1. Los Angeles Lakers

2. Boston Celtics

3. New Orleans Hornets

4. Utah Jazz

5. San Antonio Spurs