You know the saying, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Well the same can be said about nearly every one of the Minnesota Timberwolves games this upcoming season. Even PBS is refusing to televise their games. Come April, there honestly may be no video evidence that a Minnesota Timberwolves season even took place, which is fitting since I guarantee if you were asked to write down all 30 teams in the NBA, Minnesota would be that, “Why can’t I think of the last team” repetitive angering thought after you put down the Memphis Grizzlies at #29. At some point this year the following events will happen:
The Timberwolves and the Toronto Raptors will play a seven over-time, pseudo-thriller (heavy emphasis on pseudo) decided on a Kevin Love buzzer beater (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl0PjlfR9oc), from full court, giving the T-Wolves a 55-54 win. The footage of this game will become as rare as a Jordan Crawford dunk over LeBron and the eight thousand fans in attendance will go on to tell all their skeptical friends in the same way parents explain to their kids that there was once a dominant white basketball player named Larry Bird.
Secondly, the Three Kings of Miami will each put up triple doubles against the Timberwolves and literally cause the scoreboard to break. Miami Heat coming to Minnesota is the equivalent of the New Orleans Saints playing my high school football team. Honestly, I think the Timberwolves should take a page out of the NHL playbook and play the first mid-winter outdoor basketball game. Maybe three feet of fresh Minnesota snow will slow down LeBron, Wade, and Bosh, resulting in a much more pleasant forty point loss. Or how about since they are scheduled to play Miami in Minnesota on April 1st why not turn the game into a musical on ice, “The Heat on Ice” if you will, as one giant April fool’s joke.
“Did you hear that the TWolves and Heat game was actually a musical on ice? Do you think that’s true?”
“I dunno, I can’t find any footage of it.”
Even their marketing campaign admits to their fans that this year’s going to be rough. They actually, and this is not a lie here’s the link (http://www.startribune.com/sports/wolves/102815564.html), took out an ad in the Minneapolis newspaper saying, “'Will we challenge for the NBA championship this year? Not likely.'” Imagine if the next Axe commercial came out with the slogan, “Will our body spray get you laid? Not likely.” Even the Detroit Lions have the decency to feed their fans propaganda that this year will be the one where everything finally comes together.
The problem with the Timberwolves is they play in Minnesota. My last trip to Minnesota was in the heart of winter my freshman year of college. I remember being bundled up, and I mean, we’re talking the long underwear underneath long sleeve shirt, underneath sweatshirt, underneath thick winter coat style of bundled up, and yet I still felt the cold wind borderline reaching my bones. I had gotten lost coming back to the hotel and honestly with the wind smashing against my patchy beard, my snot freezing on contact, I thought to myself, “Is this where I die?” I thought I was going to end up like Preston Blake in the first scene of Mr. Deeds. Combine that with the case study of, “How To Ruin A Decade Of An All Time Great: Starring Kevin Garnett” and the idea of playing for the Timberwolves becomes so terrifying that a guy like Ricky Rubio treats honor of being the #5 pick in the NBA draft as if he were being drafted for Vietnam. At what point does the CIA burst into some Spanish gym, kidnap Rubio, and demand he play out his sentence?
Also it doesn’t help that Minnesota plays in the Northwest Division in which all four other teams made the playoffs. Expect the T-Wolves to be swept by the Thunder and Trailblazers, steal one from Utah and maybe split with Denver. This will put them at 3-13 in their division (just like last year) and fans will quickly tune out the NBA season and follow the Twins post season run or look forward to the Spring when the Twins can begin dominating the AL Central once again.
Here’s how the T-Wolves will look:
Point Guard Johnny Flynn
Johnny Flynn was one of the most electrifying players to watch when he played for Syracuse. In his rookie season he scored close to 14 ppg, 4.4 assists but had painful amounts of turnovers. He’s the fifth best point guard out of five in the division, but when the other four are Deron Williams, Chauncey Billups, Russell Westbrook, and Andre Miller, there’s really nothing you can do.
Shooting Guard Corey Brewer
Solid player, but he needs to be a knock down shooter on a contender not a close the gap to a 27 point game on the T’Wolves.
Small Forward Wesley Johnson
Minnesota needs Wesley Johnson to be good. No, they need him to be great. I think the Timberwolves should take a page out of the Thunder Durant playbook and force Johnson into “The Man” role right away. Johnson is already 23, which puts him as one of the older guys in the starting line-up. Guarding Durant, Carmelo, and Brandon Roy right away will also force him to become a better defender.
Power Forward Kevin Love
If you watched the FIBA tournament you’ll notice there was one white guy who occasionally stepped in for the USA team. This man is Kevin Love. I was actually impressed with how he played in the time he came into games. He seemed to grab as many rebounds as he did points (often times being a 10 and 10 outing), he hustled on defense, and he’d even hit some outside shots. I don’t think you can build around Kevin Love, but if Wesley Johnson can develop into a star wing player, Kevin Love is a good piece to have at power forward.
Center Darko Milicic
This is probably Darko’s final chance at establishing himself as a legitimate center in the league. In Darko’s defense, he came into the league too early and the veteran Detroit Pistons probably weren’t the best fit for him (can you imagine Ben Wallace and Rasheed hanging out with Darko on the weekends?). So chalk up those first three years as if he were playing college ball. If you start his career at 2005-2006 when the kid was 21 years old, he’s been an 8 ppg 6 rpg type of guy. Not bad, not highest paid on the team type of numbers, but not, “human victory cigar” either. Minnesota is a pretty low-key place and he will feel like this is an entire fresh start from the amount of scrutiny he received in his early career.
In this division he’ll be matched up against Greg Oden, Nene, Okur, and Cole Aldrich who I think he’ll find himself as the fourth best Center.
Key Reserves
Luke Ridnour
Ridnour is a Steve Blake kind of guy who can run an offense, hit the three, and won’t make costly turnovers. On the nights when Flynn is out of control, Ridnour will be a perfect second option who can bring in some stability to the offense.
Michael Beasely
In a three-year span there were three dominant one and done, 6’10 guys in the Big Twelve. Each of them posted up ridiculous numbers scoring close to 30 a night with 15 rebounds. Kevin Durant has gone on to be an all out SuperStar, Blake Griffin has yet to play an NBA game, but still has incredible hype surrounding him, and Michael Beasely, who would only be entering his senior year at Kansas State, has been shipped to Minnesota and despite his close to 15 ppg career average has been widely considered a disappointment.
I think that changes in Minnesota. Beasely will be the first guy off the bench subbing in for either Darko, Love, or Johnson. I think he will develop his outside game and become a matchup nightmare for Oden and Nene but also pose a problem for Durant and ‘Melo. In Miami he was expected to be D-Wade’s dominant power forward guiding the Heat back to the top of the East, in Minnesota he can become a 6th man of the year type of guy.
Verdict?
13-16 wins this season.
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