27. Washington Wizards

#27 Washington Wizards

            I cannot think of a better place for the Wizards to be located than right in the heart of Washington D.C.  What a resource to have at their disposal that no matter how hard things get or how complicated their situation becomes financially, they are only a few blocks away from the nation’s greatest minds, our fearless leaders of Capitol Hill. So in a Sound of Music-esque, “How do you solve a problem like Arenas” fashion, I turn the Agent Zero fiasco over to the United States government, for only they can bring light to this troubling situation.

Quick Background

July 7, 2008       

     

        The unpredictable three-time All-Star point guard, in vintage Agent Zero fashion, told the Post and the Washington Times on Thursday that he has agreed to re-sign for $111 million over six years, considerably less than the maximum deal he said the Wizards offered him when the free agency period began on Tuesday.

"I'm basically giving back $16 million," Arenas told the Washington Times. "This is in line with what I've been saying the whole time. You see players take max deals and they financially bind their teams. I don't wanna be one of those players and three years down the road your team is strapped and can't do anything about it."

          How noble of Gilbert Arenas. Since taking such a mighty pay cut, Arenas has played 34 games for the Wizards. This means the Wizards have paid him nearly one million dollars per game, 24,370 dollars per minute, and 254,000 dollars per turnover. To put this in perspective, Kobe Bryant has played over 200 games, won two NBA titles, and even an Olympic gold medal in the same time span.

         So What Would Congress Do?

“Gilbert Arenas is too big to fail!”

         The Wizards are 30 million dollars in on a 111 million dollar investment. The fact that Arenas has four years left on his contract means that this is not a situation where they can simply setup a trade, deal Arenas away, and begin the John Wall era. Big salaries are only appealing for trades if they are expiring contracts. For example, say you’re trying to land Carmelo Anthony. You want to have a guy like Eddy Curry as trade bait since you can sell the idea of cap space to a Denver team that will surely fall into a rebuilding phase after losing their star. Package Curry’s 12 million dollar expiring contract with a young four million a year talent like Danilo Gallinari and two million a year Wilson Chandler and the Knicks could most likely acquire Carmelo since the Nuggets would receive a young star, a young role player, and 12 million dollars of cap space freeing up. For Washington, an Arenas for Carmelo trade would never happen not simply because Denver has Chauncey, but because there is no appeal in a recently unreliable player who is owed 80 million over the next four years.

         In fact, I don’t think there’s a possible trade scenario out there that would work. Of the 30 teams in the NBA, I can only imagine the Atlanta Hawks, Los Angeles Clippers, and maybe the Memphis Grizzlies being interested in an Arenas addition. Here’s how it could work out:

Atlanta Hawks

         Around all-star break the Hawks could be as high as the three seed in the Eastern Conference, since last season they quietly had 53 wins and their roster really hasn’t changed since then. With the Miami Heat and Orlando Magic in front of them and the Celtics, Bulls, Bucks not far behind, the Hawks may look to make a deal to solidify their spot in the top four. Sending away Mike Bibby (6 million) and Jamal Crawford’s expiring contract (10 million) matches up with Arenas (17 million). An Atlanta Hawks team with Arenas, Joe Johnson, and Josh Smith, in theory, could be a better version of the Arenas, Caron Butler, Antwan Jamison era in Washington. As for the Wizards, Bibby could be a veteran back-up to John Wall and Crawford’s 10 million dollar contract would be off the books at the end of the year.

Los Angeles Clippers

         Ticket sales purposes. Teaming Baron Davis with Gilbert Arenas would be the NBA equivalent of T.O. with Ocho Cinco. Problem is, this trade really makes no sense and has no way of legitimately happening. But it’d be great reality T.V.

Memphis Grizzlies

         Memphis could be in position to be the 8 seed out west this season. To give them an extra boost, it’s not improbable that they might try to deal for Arenas. But is bringing in Arenas’s massive contract really something a young, up and coming team wants to take on?

        But since these trades still seem to be unlikely I think it's best for the Wizards to sign Arenas for a 10 year extension, throw more money at the problem, print off new money if necessary, and wait for some type of David Stern bailout.

Build Up Hype Surrounding Arenas Right Around Election (All Star Break) Time

            Sell the whole, “Hey he scores 25 ppg, his attitude has changed, he’s a great teammate, the recession is actually over and health care is working” angle right before all-star break and maybe the Dallas Mavericks or New York Knicks will get carried away and sell away good pieces and future draft picks for him.

            But here’s the deal it’s 1:30 a.m. I have nothing more to say about the Washington Wizards, they’ve got John Wall who already has a rap song named after him and will prove worthy of it, Kirk Heinrich who is the better, but older version of J.J. Redick, Andray Blatche/JaVale McGee one of whom is technically a near Olympian center, and then a strange mix of Josh Howard, Yi Ming, and believe it or not Adam Morrison. The true barometer for how successful the Wizards will be this season is based on how many minutes a night Morrison gets.

Verdict

20 wins.