Thursday, November 18, 2010

Under The Phog (Part 3)


   ‘What the hell are you guys doing?” Phog Allen said in horror as his eyes nearly fell from their sockets at the site of the basketballs. ‘You’re just gonna walk away from the game?!’

            ‘No, we’re gonna get back to our real lives,” Holman replied.

            ‘Basketball is your lives!’ Phog Allen said rushing over to check on me. ‘Basketball is what made you who you guys are.’

            ‘Maybe for you and Naismith,’ Lapchick said. ‘I don’t want to end up alone in a blank room as a fuckin’ basketball just waiting to finally deflate.’

            Phog Allen examined each of the new basketballs, puzzled at first by the letters in their sides, then slowly realizing what they symbolized. As if his previous anger had never existed, he turned to the four beaming with excitement.

            ‘Yes! You know what this means don’t you!’ Phog Allen asked in a high pitched shrill of exuberance. ‘You get to pick the next generation of legends!’

            ‘What?’ they asked in unison.

            ‘Oh, it makes so much sense now!’ Phog Allen exclaimed now somewhat comically jogging around the room. ‘Naismith’s invitations, Banks’s letter, the engravings, Good Lord! how could I be so dumb, how could I not have understood this earlier!’

            ‘Alright, alright, slow down old man, you’re getting kind of foggy here,’ Holman said. ‘Banks’s letter? The engravings?’
            ‘Ok, I’ll back up,’ Phog Allen said pumping the brakes on his madly accelerating car. ‘Before Banks died he left a note to me in my office. All it said was, ‘I belong to the Celtics, but then there will be two legendary kings, one reluctant for the throne, one hungry for it, one chosen by me and one the self proclaimed chosen one.’

            ‘And you said that this all made sense?’ Beckman laughed.

            ‘Yes it does, think about it, Banks has left his legacy to either a king he has chosen or some self proclaimed king that will seize the spot,’ Allen explained. ‘I think you four are supposed to do the same. Holman you have to pick out two point guards, Lapchick two centers, and so on and so forth. Only the most deserving out of the two you pick get to live on in this room.’

            ‘You got all of that from a note and some basketball carvings?’ Lapchick asked.

            ‘Yes, yes I did,’ Allen chuckled, he seemed almost taken aback at his own discovery. ‘But think about it, this is the way it’s meant to be, the legends of each generation living on in here under the almighty eye of the creator Naismith. You four must make your lists!’

            “So what, you’re telling me I’ve been chosen as some type of basketball torch bearer or something?” Kobe interrupted.

            “Easy mamba,” Naismith responded. “You’re skipping over about 60 years of history. In 1955 Allen Fieldhouse was built over this still hidden room as Phog’s final way of hiding the chamber. Phog Allen had built the glass showcase back there in that corner before he died and placed each basketball proudly on display in those glass cases. When he died, his spirit lived on not only in Allen Fieldhouse, but literally as fog hiding the corner display case from any unworthy suitor who may eventually find this room. Hence why at the top of the stadium, directly above us, the banner reads, “Pay heed all who enter, beware of the Phog.’ The fact that you were able to see anything at all means you must be extremely close to becoming a legend. But anyways, 1975 came and the new five received their keys, Oscar Robertson unlocking the Point Guard basketball, Jerry West the SG, Wilt Chamberlain and Bill Russell taking the PF and C. In respect to the original note laying next to the SF basketball in the display case, the new four assumed they were to fill the SF spot with a Celtic. Tom Heinsohn was soon invited to join and the five spent nearly every night reliving the feeling of the great game of basketball.”

            “These five decided to insert some new rules to the pass down process. They decided that after ten years they would pick their heirs and at twenty years they would remove their basketball shoes and join their basketball self with the older legend inside their designated basketball. In 1995, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Charles Barkley, and Kareem became the newest five and remain so to this day. When 2005 came they were all reluctant to give up the game, especially Michael who was now seen as the greatest to ever play. As the other four struggled to finally take off their shoes and list their two potential players to inherit the room, Michael tightened the shoelaces on his Nike Air Jordans and made a bold claim for who would be worthy to take his spot.”

            ‘I will not make a list, because there are no players I see out there who will come close to my level,’ Michael told the other guys. ‘If I played in today’s game I’d score 100 points. But even then, only if there is a shooting guard to reach 7 rings will I take my shoes off and give him this room.’

            “Now of course everyone was fairly upset at this claim and began trying to make their own personal tweaks to the system. Larry Bird wanted his spot to be designated to the best white American basketball player presenting a list with Keith Van Horn and Michael Dunleavey as future heirs. Eventually he compromised and presented a list that contained Dirk Nowitzki, at least he was white even if European, and Paul Pierce, a way to respect the original, ‘I belong to the Celtics’ request. They slowly accepted the Jordan clause and the only other significant change they made was a jab at Barkley so that if the two players someone selected didn’t win at least two NBA championships then the position would go to the player with the most MVP awards of that era. Barkley protested, while the other four agreed you needed to be a proven winner to enter the room. But the point is, Kobe, you have five rings. You could actually dethrone Michael.”

            “No way!” Kobe said now fascinated, immersed in every detail Naismith unfolded. “Wait, you really think so?”

            “Well I used to feel more confident about it,” Naismith confessed. “But I fear King James.”

            “What?” Kobe asked. “He’s not a shooting guard though?”

            “Think about it,” Naismith said. “By teaming up with D-Wade he can keep you from reaching 7 rings and make way for himself to become the best player ever.”

            Kobe thought for a second that he had found a hole in the logic.

            “But by winning with D-Wade, won’t he always have one less than him?”

            “That’s the craftiness behind the plan,” Naismith said. “Since the next Legends switch happens in 2015 that means that even if the Heat rattle off five straight championships, D-Wade would only have 6 titles, not the 7 needed to dethrone Michael. There you and Wade would be, him at 6 you at 5, both incapable of surpassing MJ.”

            “How does that help LeBron?” Kobe asked.

            “Because then he would come into the room and have the chance to play one on one against Michael Jordan,” Naismith explained.

            “But you said earlier that Larry Bird put the destiny in Dirk or Paul Pierce’s hands,” Kobe said feeling a quick sense of relief.

            “Right, but remember the Barkley clause they added about the two titles or two MVPs?” Naismith reminded gently. “Dirk has no rings, Paul only has one NBA title, if neither reaches two, then LeBron, even if he never wins a title in the next five years would still go in because he—“

            “Has two MVPs,” Kobe said finishing the sentence and shaking his head in disappointment.

            “Correct,” Naismith said. “So unless Pierce can win another title or Dirk win another MVP, LeBron is headed for the SF basketball. And what’s really scary is when you think about the other spots. If LeBron challenges Michael to a game of one on one on this very court, you know MJ won’t turn it down. Say LeBron wins that game, he will be able to control the destiny of the shooting guard spot. Or even if he loses to Michael, if D-Wade wins 7, which LeBron claims that they will, D-Wade will move into the room as the new SG. Kareem selected Shaquille O’Neal as his only pick for the Center spot, which means LeBron could convince Shaq to dig into his Pat Riley’s Amy 2006 self and team up with him and D-Wade to form a 3/5 majority of the court. At that point they could make a new rule, since they would have 60% of the vote and bring Chris Bosh in at power forward. Suddenly the legends would simply be the Miami Heat destined to rule basketball for all of eternity. You wonder why Magic and Michael, Bird and Barkley all have been so critical in the media about LeBron’s decision? You’re looking at the very reason! He could control this room forever, he could make himself the self proclaimed greatest ever, the king of basketball.”

            “But the point guard is at least still safe right?” Kobe said beginning to feel naseous as he held onto what little hope remained.

            “Not quite,” Naismith continued. “The whole big 3 thing and the hot Amys of Pat Riley isn’t the end of it. They want Chris Paul to join and date the lesser known fourth Amy and become the greatest team ever. This complicates things because Magic Johnson’s list has Steve Nash and Chris Paul. As is, Nash with two MVPs makes the spot safe, but if Chris Paul joins the Heat, those titles are almost guaranteed.”

            “So I might not get into this room and fuckin’ Shaq is a guarantee!” Kobe shouted in outrage. “This is all ridiculous, I could beat LeBron in a game of one on one in my sleep. It wouldn’t even be a contest!”

            “But you might never get the chance,” Naismith said softly. “When I think of Banks’s note about the power hungry, self proclaimed king, the self declared ‘chosen one’, how can I not think of LeBron? He calls himself King James for God sake. I fear that he will turn this room into his kingdom, the Miami Heat controlling all five spots forever, and go onto replace my basketball with a new, greasy, hair gelled to the back Pat Riley basketball, and together they will control all five glass showcases and keep any other player or team from ever reaching this hallowed ground. That is why you must push on Kobe. No matter how badly your knee hurts, you are too close to becoming the greatest of all time to give up now. Be strong Kobe, and don’t ever forget what lies underneath the Phog.” 

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